Noob Rock Radio!

Streaming Broadcast from Dr Tinkle's
Sweet Potato Patch 333-444 SW

We have been waiting now for over 3 millenia for radio transmissions to reach Planet Urth from Planet Noob, due to a blockage in the airwaves caused by a lump of rock in the way, called the Moon. So, we had it's orbit changed (you won't notice much difference just a small rise in the global temperature, seas rising a few metres etc). It's now blasting through loud and clear in the ear, and the cosmic waves are wafting over me like when I stand too close to the microwave. But music is obviously not dangerous, or they would have banned it in Tootinkarnoobs time, when he used to squeelm through the high temples on his musical bullock frightening Ra and Isis who having a quiet evening of strip scrabble.

So you can now hear thesefarawaysounds from over 16 million light years away here, but you don't have to move more than your mufflers to get it, but I found it all rather odd. There are 50 dj's all a once, and every other song is mentally challenges my ears, and all the songs are by one band, Noobsquad, who is the ONLY official band on the planet.

It seems all other bands were banned by a ban for being banal, after performing a mass rendition and coverage of the song "She Rides The Airwaves Like A Velvet Pussy" by Spooketa (Spooksprings sister lady friend and wife (the song a reference to her purple coloured cat)). Over 6,456 bands swamped the charts each with a different take on the tune for over 9 eons, causing a mass hysteria to brake out in the mind of the incucumbered King. All the little people in his head started refusing to take part in simple equasions, and thus the fiddling of his accounts neglected, he started to loose money to the music industry, by tax evasion, since every record sold was negated duty, since they were deemed enemies of the sovereign. With everyone buying the record in a rebelious stance against his majesty, he was in a Catatonic Can I Win state of perplexituity, not helped by his fondness for LISTENING to the song, and actually buying the records, further hamstringing the vile state of the Age of the King Who Rebelled Against Himself and So Did Everyone Else period of the history of Planet Noob.

This was only cured when Snooby, and later Griffon Records, raised up a band of fellows from out the mercury sea, where they were busy making music to hypnotise the floating Quorks, to milk them of their brain nodules for use in intelligent cheese baking. The resulting wave of exultation enemurating from the Noobs of Planet Noob at hearing these catchy new beats was SO great All 6,456 other bands' instruments imploded, killing the musicians with shock at having been told their record company had dropped them, forever.

Only one example of that song now remains, the original. All the others were melted down to make siliconshoes for orphaned four legged dwarf tripe miners in the Brassica mines of Kermoonasarkie.