Help For Noobs of Runescape!
Noob
Money! For the noob who has nothing, Runescape has everything waiting
for them. Whether your ponscionse is for bronze armour, buckets or
simply bananas, it's all there for the noob to help himself. You'll
soon have a bank account brimming with useful, if not price-less
items. Remember high level players will sometimes pay ridiculous sums
for large collections of banal items, like ahem, ashes and bones. In
our humbleness, will we gain power!! I made my first million this way,
you can too!
Respawns!
RS magical respawns are useful. On a full server the respawn rate
might be 5 seconds! These could be runes, money or even garlic! The
wilderness is full of respawns, that place which noobs have no fear
of! Some good respawns: Garlic: 2nd floor of Draynor house (drop, and
search again for more). Flour: Sinclair mansion, bottomless flour
barrel! Air Runes: in woods, East of Draynor. Spades: Draynor Manor.
Ale: in barrels everywhere. Snake weed, Karamaja vines. Red spider
eggs, Edgeville dungeon. White Berries, Red Dragon maze.
Players With Amnesia!
When people fish and mine they invariably
forget what they are doing, and leave LOADS of unclaimed items under
their feet. Try Rimmington caves, Catherby fishing beach, or even tree
choppers, rush in when they are not looking and claim it!
Kamakazee Players and Monster Drops!
When the murderers of Runescape are
at their most bloodthirsty, they will leave behind them trails of cash
and useful items, they cannot be bothered to pick up! Try Green
Dragons lvl 21 wildy, Giants in Varrock sewers and Egdeville caves,
Demons in Karamaja volcano, guard points, or anywhere you see a lot of
killing go on. The players will even thank you for hovering up! For a
decent blue suit, the Wizard's Castle may be littered with fine blue
cloth!! Also, sadly many brave noobs die in battle, it's a shame to
waste their precious objects! Recycle their goods! Hang around the
sewers, mines and wildy, and you'll soon find some remains.
Farmers Fred's Fields!
We don't like stealing or killing as noobs, but
farmers fields are the richest source of nutriment for a noob, corn,
cabbages, onions, potatoes, dead chicken meat can all be harvested
quick time in Draynor farmland! Remember our most beautiful and
revered vegetable the cabbage can be worth 100gp each! Milking cows
for players' cats is a must do! In RS2, you can grow your own
foodstuffs...if you have the time, with the farming skill, but *cough*
that requires lots of levelling up *yawn*
Begging For It!
This is an artform all noobs must master.
What he requires is persistence and innocence. Appeal to the persons
guilt and maternal instincts, by pleading in a child like voice.
"Pleeeeeeasae can I have some free stuff, a monster just killed me!
pleeease!", usually works when following high level players around for
many hours. Use the follow option on them, and they can't escape,
giving you time to beg! Remember there are many rich twits in
Runescape, who will gladly like to see their noob friends in party hats
or sponsored to make themselves feel good. But, please don't become
annoying or aggressive. Or you could try the subtle approach, by
becoming friends with high players, become their slaves, carrying
their cod or collecting respawns, and you will be rewarded with
showers of gold! Charity appeals may work in forums if you set a goal,
or have an honest appeal to help a cause, like Spook’s Society for
the Salvation of Disabled Ghosts.
Varrock Brothel!
NOT
recommended by us at NoobSquad, selling your body to the virtual
nookie hungry players at the Blue Moon Inn is a useful source of
revenue to some people who might think of stooping this low. We are
told they keep many sheeps bladders on the first floor. Having a
makeover might help with this.
Banana Picking!
If you wish to
sample the African sun, and enjoy a noobish part time job, then banana
picking is for you, on Karamaja, one guy will pay 30 gp for 10 banana
picked! And he doesn't mind how many you eat! Other menial jobs: The
Old Man of Draynor gives gifts for errands. The General Store will pay
menial wages for items you find on the ground. Buy silk in Ardougne
and sell for profit in Al Karid. Good wages paid for fur collectors in
Varrock and Ardougne. Shearing sheep for Farmer Fred is a a peacefull
and rewarding task. Random Events: if you stand still long enough, say
your staring at some ants, a strange (if your lucky kind) monster or
humanoid will appear offering you gifts, or an errand! If you've
completed the Jungle Quests, you can earn trading sticks to buy goods,
from just hacking jungles and fixing fences. Mind you that's work.
Also on Miscellenia Island, if you're a Fremnik, you can command the
serfs of your kingdom to collect items for you...if you pay them
enough money and pretend you're not a king by getting your hands
dirty.
Quests!
After my questing for various characters in RS, I
came to the conclusion after completing each of them, that I had been
lead up the garden path like a carrot on a rabbit. I was deranged into
believing that if I helped kill such and such a monster, or reclaim an
ancient talisman, or raise some antique demon from a dark tomb, that
it was all for the good, since I was supposedly helping to defeat
evil! But I was deceived like a blind mongoose who was told he was
fighting a deadly snake, but in fact the snake was an electrical wire
connected to Doctor God's compute! So take care, don't be a stool
pigeon, scape-goat or donkey for the harmful rituals of warring tribes
and clever old men, the actions you take may affect the future of your
story in the game...and possibly real life! Don't be tempted by the
fancy goods reward! But that sheep shearing quest is pretty cool, I
can't see anything sinister there yet...sheep may be disguised as
demons who grow gun cotton disguised as wool on their backs
thought...and all the wool is being used to stuff a giant mattress
that will be used to hide an assassin in when it is presented as a
gift to King Roald...! Or maybe not.
Killing And Slaughtering
Some people think that everything should be killed for their own
personal financial gain. They come home blood spattered from killing a
thousand chickens or defenceless demons for a few thousand pound. But
what purpose, at the end of the day does it gain? You'll have a
tainted work history, conscience and lost of smelly stains you can't
get rid of, and gore and horror that creates sickness in the minds of
the childrens and sensitives. In a Noobs mind, life is precious, more
lucrative deals can be gleaned from milking, farming, training and
grooming these beasts of burden to our own ends, PLUS we make friends
and allies if ever there was a war! Most of these beings also have
magic skills and ancient knowledge, and who knows, perhaps secrets!
You need the delicate whisper of a noob and a magic touch of
comradeship for this skill.
The Mafia, Clans, Cooperatives
There abounds in internet forums
peoples who boast about their dark hearted or courageous Runescape
clans. They usually want you to have Level 80+ combat for fighting in
wars...this is because they will try and steal your account when you
sign up to their clan. But, some clans are friendly, and you might get
a load of free stuff from them! I know Noobsquad always gives away
free bronze armour and items to newbies and noobs and all you have to
do is mow down a gang of pkers with a Aka47 bronze sword! If you can
infiltrate the Mafia's and other hacking clans that gather loot from
player killing etc, without being brainwashed by their murderous
propaganda and tainted by their criminal behaviours that may leave you
with a bad Noobie record good luck to you, (Spies are always welcome
for the Noob Police, but be careful you may end up with concrete
shoes at a dragon's summer barbecue).
That's Entertainment
On Runescape, I have met some of the most
depressed and dark hearted people's in all the world. It's as if RS
attracts them like a fly to...sugar. Well, you could gain cash by
making simple salves to sure their poisons, sicknesses and other
things that happen in quests, or mount the stage (such as in H.A.M.
Draynor, or Fremnik city, Varrock Square) and do some dancing and
comedy routines to cheer these forlorn and ever levelling adventurers
up! They might throw items at you to stop signing!
Parties, Competitions, Signatures
Within the bendy rules of RS, you can glean money from fancy dress
competitions, endurance contests, duelling, sports days, art contests
advertised on forums, this is for arty peoples. Spooks held a flower
spotting competition, and a 1st across the rickety bridge of Karamaja
without drowning competition. Some people even hold drop parties,
whereby they collect expensive items from rich players, keep all the
good stuff, and then release the junk in balloons in a party hall,
such as in Seer's Village for you to collect! More stuff goes into
that party chest than comes out... All children’s and teen need RS
forum signatures, it tells us who they are, helps us to track them,
and displays their budding territorial prowess, players will pay
MILLIONS for a few hours of simple digital manipulation! Noobs are
good at art!
Becoming Usefull!
Lots of High level players need runners,
collectors or gophers for their busy autonomous lives. You could earn
good cash delivering pizza into dungeons, or ahem, collecting bones
for people. I know this one chap who buys NOTHING BUT potatoes! ALSO
becoming a taxi for lazy players earns good wages! Get them to
'follow' you, and you'll drag them along! Assuming you know WHERE in
RS you are! Stand around with a for hire sign in Varrock.
Computer Hacking...
*cough* well as you know we noobs don’t take
technology that seriously, a Sinclair computer is good enough for us,
it does the same job as a new computer, and never breaks down. But if
you happen to find someone’s password hanging around...you could go and
arrange someone’s bank account for them, and only charge a small fee
for the service, they will be very grateful...
Working?! You Must Be
Kidding!
Well, YAWN we could go and
work for our money of course by mundanely building up or skills, but
who wants to give free time working for other people?! It would take
300 hours + to level to a level that is level with the other levels.
We noobs are here for fun and adventure, work is a pastime that others
get up to fund our noobalistic lifestyle! Anyway, we're bound to
get hacked.
NoobSquad Bank
Yes, we all know of the famous
NoobSquad disaster relief bank, it will provide all comers with
freebies and full bronze armour, to their hearts desires. We offer
competitive loans and Noob Gold Access Card ownership opportunities!
Erm, so why bother with any the above?! Go here to find our more about it!
A Guide To This Guide
This guide was free and based on Spooksprings adventuring in RS. Other
sites will ask you for $10 for this information in a cheaply produced
booklet, never be tempted to buy real life goods from RS players,
they'll easily scam you! Same goes for RS items on ebay, they aren't
obliged to give you the goods, because Jagex owns the items, and they
would be breaking the law by providing the goods. But they might leave
you an address, so you can tell the noob police on them!