Planet Noob Weekly Lottery !!

Greetings with brass noobs on, fellow Noobs! Welcome to the Weekly Noob Lottery. The entry fee for this Noobtastic Lottery, is one gold plated cabbage. One gold plated cabbage gets you one numbered cabbage. Place your entry fee through the cat flap in the locked shed behind The Noob Guild. Then, choose a number between 1-99, and enter the draw! The prize, this week, a never seen before, rare as gold dust, completely genuine...

A Fresh Set Of Giant's Beards!


So, get to it, pretend to be a 'E' list celebrity, say something like, "Oh, good luck to all Noob Lottery Cabbage Ticket holders in C Wing Terminally Ill Ward!", cross your fingers for luck, cross your legs do deny anyone else luck, press my Cabbage Lottery Button, wait for your lucky numbered cabbage to appear, and then...possibly win a prize!

Contact Spooksprings, to claim your prize, in the slight possibility of you winning! The number is chosen completely at random by the Noob Lottery Machine, and no favouritism is paid to those who send me free gifts of porsches, daughters and holidays in the Algarve, but these blatant back handed bribes will not be turned away if your noobie enough to donate them, in the belief that sycophancy will gain you the slightest edge on the lucky draw stakes.

Emperor Spooksprings reserves the right to withdraw and/or reclaim all prizes on a whim's notice, if you are found to be in possession of CJD's, PFD's, Convictions, are a player of Runescape, or have the sort of face that wouldn't look good in the Noob Lottery Monthly, holding the check. To claim your prize, please dial premium rate number 464-476-TRUMPS, and wait for 10 minutes to hear how it costs you $50 to claim your worthless prize by shipping from Malaysia, with a 3 month delay, by which time your prize will be smashed, decayed and liable to a Postal Office fine.

Thank yourself for playing the Noob Lottery, go have a better day than a cabbage.

By Spooksprings J.M.B. For Planet NoobSquad 2003,5