I think I've found the dream home for my wandering pixelated alter ego


Are you tiring of adventures? Had your fill of mining 10,000 coal rocks a day for no pay and finger ache? Money mysteriously vanishing from your bank account?! Then Spooksprings (aka J.M.B.) has the perfect answer for you! Newly acquired lands in delightful West Ardougne, by the famous NoobSquad Inc, have been given the makeover, with a 100 exclusive new player houses being built on prime brown field land, by gracious permission of his most Noble Majesty King Lythas.

Spooksprings Player House (Modelled by the delectable Spooketta)

These attractive one-story houses are ideal for the adventurer, tradesman or family man. They feature proximity to civilian mod cons such as water and food! Security so tight, they’ll even ask you for id to leave! Close to the spiritual Iban religious center, this area is COMPLETELY disease free, with an interesting close-knit native community. Features rare rodent wildlife, and free weekly fumigation! These houses are being snapped up faster than a Dragon Medium at a drop party! Place your deposit NOW! And get a 0% cash back guarantee! 99% of houses guaranteed clear of effervescent peasants! Remember to place your mark on YOUR exclusive Spooksprings Player House, because X Marks The Spot!

West Ardougne, Location, Vocation, Association.

Spooksprings, a mature and level headed businessman, proprietor of 'The Villagers' sister paper, 'Planet NoobSquad', is a twenty something one time adventurer from the lands of Camelot, related by association to the noble Knights of The Round Table. Spooksprings, a boy’s favorite, has a blemish free estate management record, and will guarantee your player house satisfaction, or a plague on West Ardougne!

(Your house and its contents are at risk of barbaric marauding if parish tithes are not regularly forthcoming. Spooksprings, Planet NoobSquad and its associates cannot guarantee permanent exclusion of free borne germ agents, so make sure you purchase some Spooksprings Medieval Medical Insurance today!).

By Spooksprings (J.M.B.) 2004 Editor of ‘Planet NoobSquad‘, exclusively for ‘The Villager‘.
Pictures Edited by Spooksprings with permission of Jagex Inc.