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Spook's Dictory Of Nooblish And Excitingnoobapedia

One Sided Toast: A speciality gastronomic culinary recipe that taste quite nice but is rather stranje! It is made by French Noobs, who like to do things by halfs, so they can spend more time having fun in the vinerary. It is a normal peice of toast, made from bread, but has only being browned on one side (in a one sided toaster). That makes it one sided toast. The stranje thing is, when you turn it over, you realise there isn't another side, (it is vaporised in cooking) whoich is handy when you come accross the physics conundrum, as to 'why does my toast always land on the butter side down?'. This simple gravity based conundrum is solved here, by only having one side to the toast, so the other side weighs nothing. And thus wjhen you drop your toast, the perpendular motion displayed in two sided toast is not invoked, and it just falls flat, giving 99.9% chance of falling on the non-side of the toast that isn't there, meaning no more dog hairs on your toast.

Owl Bear: Famous on Planet Noob is the breathtaking display of the owl and bear mating ritual. This criteria for this rare occurance is rare, it must be a friction free moist day in Octuber, and the owl must be upwind, and short sighted, and EXTREMELY in need of femowl company. The bear maybe invesigating a rabbit hole. Then the owl has his chance, and swoops like an anti-bat into hell, and la-di-da, 9 months later an Owl-Bear is born. You might think it is bear that can fly or an owl that raids picnics, but no, the owl-bear has head of owl, and paws of bear, but has the habit of a spider. It spins star webs in very dark woods, made of non-stick silly string. And since it's favorite food is fish, it often if not goes hungry, But it does get a handsome wage from stuffed Owl-bear collectors which it uses to fund it's fish eating addiction.

The Owl Bear, Fishing


Planet Noob/Choob/Bluggdar/Sphinxt/Irony: These planets and others compromise the Noobiverse of Noob, and conglomorate around the Spectrum Star in erratic eccentric orbits and diverse opaqueness and multi dimensional shifting. Further information will be available when Spooksprings decides to map the Noobiverse.

Poached Egg Poacher-pede: Ever wondered where your firm poached eggs dissapear to in the morning, after a ravenous night's sleep? You kitchen is probably infected with Poached Egg Poacher-pedes. These swift egg marauders were first discovered by King Porge The III in his table top steam egg broiler, the only King alive at that time that was allowed poached eggs, which he ate several million of. It is thought this creature is a by product of the well known but not so difficult I can figure it out conundrum, "What came first, the chicken or the egg?" (to wit I always retort, 'the chicken silly, eggs arrive on a Friday with the milkman'). The other half of the sentence lost in the manuals is, "and after the egg is laid, and I poach it, who stealeth it behind my back?" It is not known wheather the Poached Egg Pede came before eggs, chickens, or after the sentence was invented, since only humans can poach eggs. It begs the question, to wit to what creature may have had culinary skills before human-Noobs were created? Was the dino-dynasty awash with rayburners and flint spatulas? Only a time traveller will tell.

Poached Egg Poacher-pede, Poaching a Poached Egg for his Poacher-pedelets


Roughnimal: An plantnimal that has evolved from trees, mainly the bark. As you can imagine they are very rough and bark quite a lot. It is thought they were auto-generised by the trees of the junglicious when they sought a means of protection from herbivours (and maybe revenge against lumberjacks). Seen here is the dolphocrocliphantasaurus, a rough-plantnimal, that swims in the underwater tree sea. He has a little furry noobliphant like trunk for feeling for his favourite food, gravel, which he finds using geomorphic echolocation using those giant carbuncles on the side of his head. This male species is pregnant.

Dolphocrocliphantasaurus


Spectrum Star: The haliconian super radiator of rainbow light at the centre of the Noobiverse. Not only does it produces light emmissions of multicolourfractedness, but also wisdom, jokes, compassion and mysteriousness that heat up a Noob's bronze armour to provide it with the efferpheasent protectionism that it's nano bot lining needs, ensuring a Noob stays in tip top tautology. Without this daily dose, such as in the Noob e-clipse or or maybe when a Noob gets locked in a carboard box in his bedroom when he hanckers for the musty smell of recycled tree juice, Noobs suffer mass outbreaks of socio-anthroptoic-psychosisms, as in the Nooblard Out festivals. Can swallow planets, and plop them out again unharmed. Has no rotation, but often is seen to pulse. Origin of Noobs, Noobador, the planets, Noobprism krystals and everything in the Noobiverse, including itself. A fun day location for all the family.

Spectrum Star, On


Supernooba: When noobs get together and summon the courage of noobality, a GREAT Supernooba of energy is released leaving all around dumfounded and in awe.

Supernoobloic: The adjective of the above noun."That raw potatoe eating contest was supernoobloic on my intestines."

Time Travel Noob Stylee: Noobs are frequent inter dimensional time travellers and parasychologital visitors of other planes and planets in mind, body and spirit. When never in the present, they can be viewed in an ecstatic tranfixed daze, visiting the past, the present from the past or the future from the past, the near past or the post past future. They may also trascribe their souls into other animals, beings and spirits of the age, dead, living or supposed to be dead or unborn, to experience their lives at first hand, helping the present shift shuffle and shoot off in the right direction.

Tree: Tree is good me like hug tree, furry and bark is good for making photo of roughnimals i like to climb trees and pretend i am bird and jump off the top and sometimes i like to eat the leafs and pretend i am a squirel if you are nasty to a tree and chop him down and you didnt ask the tree to be chopped down then the tree friends and grass and minkle tiny plantnimals will come round you house and climb in bed with you and then when you wake up you cant move because all plants have growed around you body and inside of you and then you become a plantnimal ha ha!!!

You may add to this Exictingnoobapedia by telephoning
Spooksprings on spooksprung@btinternet.com at only $1 per minute.


All literature and imagery (including Photographs) made by
Spooksprings J.M.B. For Planet Noobsquad Inc 2003-6. Photoshop, Digital Camera, 3DFA.

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